Good News Is No News!

Some items in the news recently (and my opinion about it):

News: David Copperfield was alleged to have raped a Seattle woman thereby having his Las Vegas house raided by police.
My View: David, the slogan isn't, "What happens to a Seattle woman, stays in a Seattle woman." Ah, it's all just a big trick anyway.

News: Legendary mime, Marcel Marceau, passed away a few weeks ago at the age of 84.
My View: Poor guy. He led such a quiet life.

News: NFL Roger Goodell sent a memo to all NFL teams prohibiting home team cheerleaders from parading around in front of the visitors’ sideline. He says it distracts the team.
My View: Roger just takes all the fun out of the game. Now Bill Belichick will have to video tape them.

News: Joey Bishop, one of the original members of the Rat Pack died on the 17th of October.
My View: Although long preceded by the death of his career, when it comes to the Rat Pack, Joey had the last laugh.

News: Kid Rock arrested after Waffle House brawl.
My View: You know you're getting old when… Actually I blame the establishment. They give everyone a carafe of coffee and then wonder why people are on edge when someone takes the last drop of Boysenberry syrup.

News: Researchers have identified a group of genes that not only prevent cancer but also slow the aging process in worms.
My View: PETA will be ecstatic!